how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
