I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
