i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my sisters under your porch take her home
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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