We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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