I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
