I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
