I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
