apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
