Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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