walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
