Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
