And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Randomize
