At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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