I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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