it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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