What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
