I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
