I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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