Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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