READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
40s are totally the cure
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
