I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
