Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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