Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
