my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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