I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
