I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
