I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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