Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
