I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
smell my finger.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
