He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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