Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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