just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So much rum. So many feels.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
