covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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