My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
