Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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