I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
