god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just tell him i said nine months
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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