I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Randomize
