My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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