it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
