Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
