sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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