I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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