we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
