I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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