please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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