When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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