idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
BRING THE BAGELS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
