should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
