Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
